Thursday, January 7, 2010

Why isn't this obvious?

Most people agree that the marriage is far more important than the wedding. But why doesn't it seem that way? Run just about any search on weddings or marriage and you'll get overloaded with soft images of flowers, or retro-styled pictures of funky couples, or mouth-watering photos of food that deserves to grace the cover of Bon Appetit.

Photo from

I guess it explains my whole focus on the honorable estate bit (just replace honorable estate with marriage if that works better for ya). The marriage is supposed to last a lifetime. It's supposed to be the relationship that will evolve with you for decades to come. The relationship that may eventually produce children. In a way this will become your legacy, the way you live your life with this person. So why aren't more people talking about it? Why is it such a hush-hush situation?

Yes, yes, the media have perpetrated a grave injustice on grown women everywhere by filling us with the fairy tale fantasies and movies that all end with the wedding. But you would think that now that we're well into the 21st century there would have been more efforts to shed light on this phase that will [probably] last the majority of our lives, rather than on the small window of when we were single. Of course, I'm just as guilty as the rest of modern America, as I've had thoughts about my wedding ever since middle school and never gave a tremendous amount of thought to marriage life until marriage actually appeared on the horizon. Or have I been so self-absorbed that I've completely missed the cultural products detailing and suggesting improvements for married life? (Which is also a definite possibility.)

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