Sunday, April 18, 2010

Famous last words

Just two posts ago I was talking about how our guest list was done, and we were just deliberating over the save-the-dates. Well, nix that.

Last night the boy said that one of his co-workers was talking about getting us a gift, and that we should add this co-worker to the invite list because he might feel badly if he wasn't invited. And though I haven't told my fiance yet, I'm not exactly thrilled about this.

To be totally fair, my side is inviting far more people than his side. As it stands now:

Me: 65
Him: 32

But when we get down to the number who are likely to attend, it changes a bit.

Me: 38
Him: 26

So yeah, I'm likely to have more people than him at the wedding, but it's not nearly so lopsided.

Partly, the issue is that I envisioned (and shared the vision with him) that I wanted the wedding to be for family and the very closest of friends. So my side of the list is all siblings, aunts/uncles, cousins from my mom's side, two family friends for my dad who are unlikely to attend, and four close personal friends of mine. His side is siblings, aunts/uncles, and two close and personal friends. Then he started added some of his current co-workers. First it was the boss and another supervisor (one of whom I've met briefly). Now it's another co-worker who I've seen for about 30 seconds total.

When we first did the list and added his supervisors I justified it that since his side was so much smaller it was only fair, and it was a good way to draw a limit at his workplace (since once you start inviting coworkers it can be a complete mess). And if it's only just this one more guest (plus his family) then I suppose I'll suck it up as a form of compromise with my future husband. But if he starts inviting every person who starts asking him about the wedding and/or registry, then the wedding is going to completely lose the feeling we were originally going for. Because unlike appeasing my dad about his close friends, my fiance's coworkers are likely to attend since it would be a less than a 10 mile drive, not a 1000 mile drive. So it's a lot harder to appease someone when it's going to be more than just an invite through the mail.

Now it has me rethinking the guest list, seeing if we can't get a smaller wedding out of this. But when I had talked about a smaller, more intimate list my fiance said he wanted to keep all of his current invites (this was before the co-worker). (I could cut my invite list by around 40, but it would only decrease then number attending by around 15). But it doesn't do anything to help keep the close and intimate feeling from getting marred by random extra people being added to the list.

Grr, why do guest lists have to be so difficult?

1 comment:

  1. Right! The guest list has to be that hardest thing about the wedding, and it affects everything related to the wedding.