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One of the most common tips to save money is to tell potential caterers that you’re planning a family function in order to avoid receiving the wedding upcharge. And in contacting caterers, that’s the line I used.
After contacting various people we finally found a strong contender. When I met with the caterer, they repeatedly talked about how they would treat this event like a wedding. And during the course of conversation I admitted that the meal would be served at our wedding reception which would be the concluding event of what will essentially be a family reunion. The next day they e-mailed me and said that they were withdrawing their proposal because they didn’t want to work with someone who would perpetrate such a “deception.”
I was totally flummoxed. In fact, I still kind of am. How does not specifying the type of family function equal a deception? At the same time though, I know I would have felt uncomfortable leaving our in-person meeting without them knowing that it was going to be a wedding, particularly since they kept mentioning how they were going to treat our event like one. So was this a sin of omission (by not saying family wedding rather than family function)? Or was this just the way for the caterer to not work the event because they’d have preferred a higher profit margin on a wedding?
As someone who likes to think of herself as taking the moral high road, I can’t fully tell why I’m feeling argumentative about this. Is it because I truly think I was in the right, or is it because I hate being caught in a lie? But was it really a lie?
I’m obviously still working through this issue, and I’m looking forward to hearing the take of others. And Sara Cotner of 2000 Dollar Wedding found the issue interesting and is planning on covering it in an upcoming blog post. I’ll let y’all know when that happens. But anyone care to share their perspective on this in the meantime? Have I lost some of my ethical standing because of this, just to save some money?
Image from Microsoft Office.
Outrage. Really crazy.
ReplyDeletePeople you PAY to do a job for you are on a need to know basis. You wouldn't need to tell your nanny you and your hubby were talking divorce. You wouldn't need to tell your landlord that you only wanted to live in her apartment until you could afford a house. Caterers like this are too uppity and they need to get over it. They work for you. They do what you say. End of story.