I can see clearly now

The rain is gone. So is the fog. We now have a distinct vision of what our wedding reception is going to be like. And how did this epiphany come to us? We finally made a decision on the caterer.

Of course, it was sort of a default decision since the other caterer bailed on us, but it was so reassuring nonetheless. By figuring out what type of food we are having (barbecue) we've been able to figure out the other elements we want in order to set the right type of mood. Since we're going with more casual food, we know we want to do linen tablecloths and real dishes so that the feel doesn't become too informal. But it's also gone a good way to set the mood as a sort of laidback but classy function, making sure that some don't think of the wedding as too "snooter" while others don't think of it as too "low class."

So now that we've got the vision, full steam ahead on making decisions!

Catching my breath

Things are finally beginning to settle down a little so that my life is no longer so hectic. And when I say things, I mean wedding planning. Before getting engaged I thought about all the things that would be cool to do for the wedding, and had various ideas, but it wasn't getting down to the nitty gritty, as that was supposed to be for when we were actually engaged. I thought the nitty gritty stuff would be pretty easy since I had done some research beforehand. I was wrong. Okay, my research probably did help me over all the completely clueless brides who hadn't given their wedding one thought, but not as much as I thought it would.

First there was the stress of trying to find out the wedding budget. This involved developing a tactical plan of how to assuage sensitive personalities and work diplomatically through the landmines that are family politics.

Then I attended a bridal show where I was practically the only bride getting married in 2010 as everyone else was planning a wedding in 2011 or 2012, for crying out loud. And nearly all the vendors were horrified at how little time I was leaving myself to get the planning done. Panic started to set in.

I had to multitask. I had to get save-the-dates because I needed enough people to respond so I could have a ballpark number of attendees while talking to caterers . But how tacky is it to not have the save-the-dates coordinate with the invitations? So I was looking at all my invitation options and comparing the costs.

I had to figure out if I was really going to do a fellowship hall reception, or if it wouldn't be a better deal to have it somewhere else. So an investigation of reception sites ensued, as well as caterers, to see where I would be better off.

And at the bridal show there were already several photographers who were booked up on the day of my Sunday wedding in November, 9 months away. So I had to research photographers whose work I loved at a price I could stomach.

Lastly, if I was doing save-the-dates then I would want to put down our wedding website's address. But what would it be? Would we pay for our own domain name or use one of the free sites? Which wedding website hosts had the best services, or templates that worked well for us, or...? Again, one more thing added to the list of things to accomplish NOW.

But now that I've made some decisions, things can slow down and I can start to appreciate the process. I'm not doing stationery save-the-dates (more on that in a different post). We've decided to use the fellowship hall. We're this close to signing our photographer. And our wedding website has been born. Not bad for being engaged for 3 weeks. Now I feel as though we can relax a little and make decisions with less pressure on us.

And this will be my last post until next week because tomorrow I head to a wedding in New York and won't get back until Sunday evening. So have a fabulous weekend and I'll catch you next week!

How early is too early?

Visit almost any wedding-related website or browse through the wedding section at your local bookstore. You are bound to find timelines of all the things that should be accomplished by a certain time. If you’re lucky the timeline is starts with 9-12 months out, but there are several that list a variety of things that you should have done more than a year in advance. But what if you’re not planning on waiting a year or more to get married?

On a wedding related forum I read about a girl who started contacting venues and finding out availability before becoming engaged. Though she and her boyfriend discussed what month they wanted to marry in, the boy hadn’t asked her the question. So most of the responders told her to hold off on the wedding planning until they were officially engaged.

I agree with most of the people who commented. The girl is getting ahead of herself. But when a couple doesn’t plan on a super-long engagement, there should be some kind of planning already started unless it’s to be a rather rushed and chaotic feeling directly after the engagement.

Like many women, I’ve thought about what kind of a wedding I would like to have. I’ve thought about colors, and first dance songs, and food, and themes, etc. I’ve got my own little “binder” of inspiration ideas I keep in files on my computer. I’ve looked into the pricing for various photographers, venues, etc. Basically, this will give me a head start on the thinking that should occur before the planning actually begins. Sort of like the backward planning idea that’s so popular in education. Think of the end goal that you would like to accomplish and then make sure everything you do builds toward it. But that’s as far as I’m willing to go until I get engaged.

How much planning do you think is okay to do before receiving a proposal?