The ring's the thing: Part 4

This is the fourth part in a series on engagement rings.
Picture of the Rockefeller Sapphire from thenaturalsapphirecompany.com website.

Alright, so after all this mumbo-jumbo on engagement rings, what about mine? Well, I’m not engaged (yet). But the ring’s been purchased. (Side note: YIPPEE!)

I was leaning towards a colored stone for my e-ring, though I have no moral qualms against diamonds and would happily accept one. And being the somewhat anal person that I am, I did lots of research and decided that I would love a light blue sapphire or spinel. Sapphire was particularly high on the list. For one thing, it’s the hardest natural stone next to diamonds, so it would wear well in a 24/7 ring. Secondly, it’s my birthstone. But thirdly, its gemological meaning is awesome. From gemselect.com, “Through history, sapphire symbolizes truth, sincerity, and faithfulness in relationships, and to bring peace, joy and wisdom to the wearer and owner.” Who doesn’t want that in their engagement ring?

I actually had to do a little convincing of my boyfriend to do the sapphire rather than a diamond, because he was like, “Isn’t a diamond traditional?” I explained that the sapphire has a far longer e-ring history than diamonds. But basically, he just wanted to make me happy, so a sapphire it was.

Anyway, I had given my boyfriend a document with information about my ring size as well as my likes and dislikes. And pricing started at $14 and went up, with the original idea that he would then go off on his own and choose a ring that was in keeping with some of my wishes. Well, it didn’t turn out that way.

My boyfriend’s not a shopper. And I am. And I’m rather picky (ahem). So once I pretty much figured out what I wanted we went to the jewelry store, told the sales associate how we wanted it customized, gave him the sapphire (a story for another day), and then I browsed the store while my boyfriend did the financial stuff. And I know I’m going to get a ring that I LOVE, my boyfriend’s happy because he’s giving me a ring that I will love, and he didn’t have to get annoyed with his perceived hassles of shopping. Win-win!

I was planning on this being the last post on engagement rings, but it will just be the last until somebody asks me a certain question. Then you’ll see what we’ve created.

The ring's the thing: Part 2

This is the second part in a series on engagement rings.

In the last post I wrote about how the jewelry industry has tried to convince everyone to pay big bucks for their engagement jewelry. This one reflects on how so many people have bought that premise hook, line, and sinker.

The proposal scene from Sweet Home Alabama


The subtitle for that clip on the Youtube page is “Every woman’s fantasy.” Unfortunately, lots of brides-to-be are making a big grab at the fantasy. Being somewhat interested in jewelry I’ve found a forum that includes a whole discussion board for “ladies-in-waiting.” And far too often for my tastes there will be some college student posting about how she wants a $15,000 e-ring, plus a $30,000 wedding, plus money for a down payment for a house, but that her boyfriend just can’t pull it all together. Umm, you’re in college! He’s in college! And neither one of you are trust fund babies!!

And should one of these “ladies-in-waiting” decide to be satisfied with whatever ring is given her the first go around, there is a huge number of people in this entire forum who believes in upgrades. Upgrade your ring on your first anniversary, fifth anniversary, or whenever you just feel the itch. Some people don’t even get to the wedding before they have one or two “upgrades.” Is an extra millimeter or two on your diamond really that important?

Though many guys do everything within their power to accommodate their girlfriends, not everyone does. I was speaking with a friend recently who broke up with his girlfriend of more than three years. They were on the marriage-track, but one of the things that broke them up was the engagement ring. She wanted one that cost at least $20,000; he didn’t want to spend more than $10,000.

Though there are some truly wealthy people in the U.S., the majority don’t have the financial resources to pay for the big honking e-rings that many women are clamoring for. Whatever happened to the ring as a symbol that the man you love wants to spend the rest of his life with you? Haven’t they heard about living beyond their means and how that’s helped to bring our country into the recession it’s currently in? And why does it have to turn into some pissing contest to see who can get (or give) the most expensive ring?

The ring's the thing: Part 1

This is the first part in a series on engagement rings. This section is my reaction to the jewelry industry’s attempt to tell us how much to pay.

Once it became clear that an engagement was becoming increasingly likely for me, I got more interested in engagement rings. As someone who reads up and researches before any major purchase it was inevitable that I would do so with this one. And boy has it been interesting.


First was my surprise about the cost of a ring, and also about the expectations of how much a ring should cost. Though I knew of the “recommendation” that a guy spend two months’ salary, I never actually thought about how much money that actually was. Doing the math based on my salary I thought, gosh, I could do some really amazing trips with that money!

And while I was at a jeweler, the sales associate gushed about what a beautiful ring combo I was looking at (stone and setting) and how my boyfriend would be so lucky that he’d get away with paying only $5000. And had she not used that only word I probably wouldn’t have been so irked. But my boyfriend and I are both teachers. And to me spending $5000 on something that’s not a car or a house is a lot of money. And each of us earns far above the median income for a family of four. So imagine she makes that comment to someone one of the numerous people who makes far less than us. I’m still going, “Dang!” to myself about that.

Of course, these are expectations created by the jewelry industry. They want you to think that you need to spend a huge chunk of money to be respectable. They want you to think that $5,0000 is mere chump change. And it kind of makes sense because businesses generally want you to spend as much as you possibly can. But why should the rest of us follow their mandates?